WONDERFUL MIRACLE

1

Beneath what I am allowed
I let that gust of wind take me out

With the necrotic foot
The hallucination that omits

Something that is there
The mother mary covered in oil

I follow her to an alley
Her baby crying

Floating in the oil slick
Just under the surface I hold myself

Let me not forget what I have loved
The flesh is useless

Take me to the source
The center where there is nothing

There are lovers too
24 hour surveillance

Phone lines cut
Dispersed, disappeared

Abandoning their cars
I cannot see the men on the other side

I stare back at myself
Dead fish in the market

Wrapped in brown paper
The hallucination staring

2

Hand between my legs
Dipping in and out
Watching women as they come

I watch myself getting fucked
A body that is mine is devoured
We get married. We have a big house. And fuck all night.

My nipples hurt. A master and her dog.
I wish you were more like an animal
Drunk as a can of tuna.

I am going home to oregon
I am going to idaho
I am going to twin falls
The water so fast

I put my grandfather into the ground
The deer watched us move

I am a man of the law
Scaled and gutted and beautiful

3

The prescription made me dizzy
I had the urge to conjure the fantasy
Where everything became much bigger and threatening
I fried an egg and saw the yolk warped by that magnitude
Went in with my fork and missed the yolk completely.

Sophia Howells was born in the year of the tiger. She now lives in the year of the horse.